Thursday, April 28, 2011

The unfortunate case of Dez Bryant and excessively droopy pants

Dez Bryant made headlines�Tuesday night after police were called to intervene in a dispute over the fit of his pants, or, depending on who you believe, the fit of his friends' pants. Someone's pants were deemed too low by whoever is in charge of pants policy at the North Park mall in Dallas.

Here's the Dallas PD's side of the story:

Desmond Bryant was issued a criminal trespass warning by representatives of NorthPark Center when he began using profanity after he and his companions were requested to pull their pants up by Dallas Police officers working off-duty at the scene so as to not expose their underwear and buttocks to other patrons of the center. This action is not a violation of law and officers would have taken no official police action. Mr. Bryant's response to the request was profanity laced [as in, per the police report, "What the [expletive], you stopped me like I stole something!"], and center representatives felt the outburst merited a request for Mr. Bryant to leave the premises.

There's more here. And here's Bryant's side of the story, via Calvin Watkins at ESPNDallas.com:

Bryant, however, told ESPNDallas.com his pants were up but some of his friends' pants were down.

"It really wasn't me in the wrong," Bryant said Tuesday. "It's not even an issue." [...]

"I told the guy I'm not trying to get in trouble," Bryant said. "I'm not trying to destroy my image. The [warning] wasn't toward me. I was trying to figure out what was going on. It was a big misunderstanding. I was the wrong guy."

If Dez is telling the truth and the culprit was indeed someone else, I'd just like to warn the people of Dallas to stay vigilant. There's currently someone at large with his pants at an unacceptable level. I expect that the Dallas PD will begin its investigation by interviewing all local plumbers.

As for Bryant, he's already moved on, and is confident that he'll be welcomed back at the North Park Mall. He fired off this tweet Tuesday night:

Let's just hope he wears those LeBrons at a level that we can all be comfortable with.

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